Home Uncategorized Two old friends and a lot of thought

Two old friends and a lot of thought

by Sunil J

I met two old friends today. Girls I have known for over 7 years. One was a pretty close friend, and maybe still is. The other was a very shy girl. I don’t think I ever got to know her very well, but was a good friend in spite of it.
For many years I had thought that marriage was unnecessary as long as I had good friends. I have known that good friendship is very rare, and that if you could count your close friends in more than 1 hand then you have to be really, really lucky. I still hold by my second belief, even though I know some people are so charismatic that they make a lot of good friends. I am not like that, but I still consider myself to be very lucky as I have a few friends on whom I can count on and trust with my secrets. I am also lucky in the sense that these close friends are more or less equally boys and girls.
But recently I have started questioning my first belief, that a life partner is not necessary. The reasoning is simple, and derived from experience. Unlike a blood relationship or a marriage, friendship is not tied together. Friends are made based on the situation, and with time it grows strong. But on the flip side, since it is not tied, there is a chance that you might grow apart, physically, due to circumstances. This does not mean the friendship dies, but there might be a difference of distance, which would cause the friendship to be irregular. I feel that my previous statement is very ambiguous, so to be more clear, I will explain a bit more even though you have understood the idea. Once you leave the circumstances where you made the friendship, there is a chance that the frequency of communication will be irregular, maybe because both are under different situation, or maybe because both are busy. With distance it would become more difficult. This will cause the friendship to stagnate.
Even though I don’t intent to take away the beauty or the fidelity of friendship, there are more that a human being needs. For example a person to talk to, to listen, to love, to be loved, and the list goes on.
You may or may not make good friends everywhere you go. And it does take time to have a solid friendship. In my opinion this would create a mood where your emotions would be fluctuating, which only a good friend can soothe. But when you have let the friendship stagnate, whom do you turn to soothe your emotions?
Maybe human beings need a partner. I am still not convinced about marriage, but I think it merits consideration. I am still an advocate of friendship.
I don’t mean to say that no one should marry. I am only saying that for me friendship means a lot, but I am realizing the constrains time puts on friendship. Maybe it is time that I took a fresh look.
I guess by now you might have thought of me as a chronic bachelor. It is not so. It is just that I have not yet found anyone with whom I want to spend a lifetime with. And I don’t intent to take a chance on that with the first girl I see.
I am finding the distances that life brings on friendship. Some of my friends have moved on, some are busy, and some just disappeared. Maybe some of them found new friends who took my place, maybe life has brought too much worries on them which I cant help them with, maybe some of them just misunderstood me and didn’t think I was their close friend and maybe some of them weren’t my close friends as I thought they were.
You think my day was a washout? I don’t think so. For one thing, I met a close friend. Even if we are poles apart, those old days mean a lot to me. And the second reason is because I was on the phone for almost half an hour with a very close friend, who still is a close friend, in spite of the distance, the troubles and the pressures of life.
You know what? Maybe you have to be really lucky to have even a single friend who stays by you to stand the test of time.
Am I that lucky? I may not know that until I have reached the final days of my life.

Technorati Tags : ,

You may also like

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: